I started writing a post last night on this subject but was too sleepy to get anything done. This morning... the picture above showed up on my Facebook feed.
Anyways... I've been observing and thinking a lot about the way we humans behave towards each other. Yesterday I started reading the book Emotional Intelligence By Daniel Goleman.
This is a really good time for me to read about controlling my emotions as I'm dealing with a lot of it right now. In a way I think that we are all constantly dealing with something because of the way society expects us to be.
Being a very observant person has allowed me to read people like open books. This at times can be painful to watch. We humans are interesting creatures. We love to say one thing, show another and feel something completely different. From time to time we can't help ourselves and we let our feelings shine through but for the most part, we insist on painful interactions with each other.
What is it that makes us feel uncomfortable with the beauty of showing our emotions? Why do we insist on suffering when a simple hi could fix our misunderstandings and give us a fresh start.
Is it fear of the unknown? Confusion? Fear of rejection?
I don't know. I'm guilty of it all. I've always been very good at communicating openly with others. For the last couple of months I feel like I don't even recognize myself.
I'm struggling to do what I am so good at doing, which is being open with others about my feelings. Maybe it is that I find myself in an unknown territory. I've never experienced anything like it. It frustrates me like no other, yet I continue to choose my fear of rejection over my own happiness.
I think it's harder to get over your fear of rejection when you already felt it once.
I made a mistake because I'm human and obviously because at the time it felt like the right thing to do. That very same mistake has caused me more pain than I care to admit.
I feel like in a way my mistake has forced me to deal with emotions I didn't know I could feel. It has been even harder to have to deal with not only my emotions but also the everchanging emotions of those who are close to me.
I also have responsibilities to fulfill. My attention can't always go to what's going on inside my heart. I have my children to care for and worry about, my home and a million other responsibilities that come with being an adult.
Life is not easy. Our best lessons are usually the ones that are accompanied by pain. Our strength comes from learning how to deal with whatever we get to go through and still see it as a positive learning experience.
I found this quote yesterday. I really like it! Now if only I could apply it to my own life right now. Oh wait! I can and I should.
If I'm honest, when I feel the most frustrated with the whole mess I created. I tell myself that enough is enough. Moving on is the answer in that moment. Quitting is better than the pain I feel sometimes.
But I am no quitter. I want this. I want to be happy. I want to be able to say things how they are. I want to feel free to enjoy it all. I want to feel alive in ways that I've never felt before.
Maybe the secret to it all is to pay attention to what people do. Words sometimes don't mean anything, but actions do!
Paulo Coelho posted the following quote on his Facebook page several days ago. How appropriate!
~
I would like to let you know how truly sorry I am for not saying things the way they were/are. If I didn't care, I would not have even bothered to talk to you in the first place.
I miss how you would say hi and we would have small conversations here and there. Specially right before I did what I did. I'm trying to gain the courage to get past your not so friendly face now, and talk to you.
It's not an easy thing to do. I have much to worry about when it comes to her.
Anything stupid that I may do could seriously embarrass her.
It's not a matter of pride. The things you said to me that day keep replaying in my head. My quick mind can see the hidden messages here and there. I can understand why you denied everything. However, the logical side of my mind needs more reassurance before I can go there again.
I wish you would let me know how you feel.
Is it fear of the unknown? Confusion? Fear of rejection?
I don't know. I'm guilty of it all. I've always been very good at communicating openly with others. For the last couple of months I feel like I don't even recognize myself.
I'm struggling to do what I am so good at doing, which is being open with others about my feelings. Maybe it is that I find myself in an unknown territory. I've never experienced anything like it. It frustrates me like no other, yet I continue to choose my fear of rejection over my own happiness.
I think it's harder to get over your fear of rejection when you already felt it once.
I made a mistake because I'm human and obviously because at the time it felt like the right thing to do. That very same mistake has caused me more pain than I care to admit.
I feel like in a way my mistake has forced me to deal with emotions I didn't know I could feel. It has been even harder to have to deal with not only my emotions but also the everchanging emotions of those who are close to me.
I also have responsibilities to fulfill. My attention can't always go to what's going on inside my heart. I have my children to care for and worry about, my home and a million other responsibilities that come with being an adult.
Life is not easy. Our best lessons are usually the ones that are accompanied by pain. Our strength comes from learning how to deal with whatever we get to go through and still see it as a positive learning experience.
I found this quote yesterday. I really like it! Now if only I could apply it to my own life right now. Oh wait! I can and I should.
If I'm honest, when I feel the most frustrated with the whole mess I created. I tell myself that enough is enough. Moving on is the answer in that moment. Quitting is better than the pain I feel sometimes.
But I am no quitter. I want this. I want to be happy. I want to be able to say things how they are. I want to feel free to enjoy it all. I want to feel alive in ways that I've never felt before.
Maybe the secret to it all is to pay attention to what people do. Words sometimes don't mean anything, but actions do!
Paulo Coelho posted the following quote on his Facebook page several days ago. How appropriate!
~
I would like to let you know how truly sorry I am for not saying things the way they were/are. If I didn't care, I would not have even bothered to talk to you in the first place.
I miss how you would say hi and we would have small conversations here and there. Specially right before I did what I did. I'm trying to gain the courage to get past your not so friendly face now, and talk to you.
It's not an easy thing to do. I have much to worry about when it comes to her.
Anything stupid that I may do could seriously embarrass her.
It's not a matter of pride. The things you said to me that day keep replaying in my head. My quick mind can see the hidden messages here and there. I can understand why you denied everything. However, the logical side of my mind needs more reassurance before I can go there again.
I wish you would let me know how you feel.
